


Ilang ulit (Ikaw pa rin)

by neowise



Series: Atin ang mundo [1]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: Filipino
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-02
Updated: 2020-01-02
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:22:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,980
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22082542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neowise/pseuds/neowise
Summary: Ang theory ni Jaemin ay "everyone falls in love with Mark Lee."Dapat nung pagkakasabi palang ni Jaemin nun, umilag na si Donghyuck.
Relationships: Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee
Series: Atin ang mundo [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1595038
Comments: 10
Kudos: 42





	Ilang ulit (Ikaw pa rin)

**Author's Note:**

> Very self-indulgent fic for my own entertainment. If binasa mo, thank you for reading it.
> 
> PS. This is inspired by some real life events and the song Migraine by Moonstar88.

December 30, 2019

Hindi inasahan ni Donghyuck na marami pa rin ang tao sa mall kahit December 30 na. For some reason, naisip nya na baka mas konti na ang dadaan pa sa mall lalo na at year-end na. Pero marami pa rin palang nasa labas at medyo nahirapan pa rin siya mag-book ng Grab papunta sa bahay ng mga kaibigan nya. For sure kukulitin na naman sya ni Jaemin kahit na madalas din ma-late ang kaibigan nya kapag nagkikita sila.

Speaking of the devil. Kakasakay lang ni Donghyuck sa na-book nya na Grab ng mag-ring ang phone nya. 

“Hyuck, asan ka na ba?” 

Matinis ang boses ng nasa kabilang linya. Gutom na si Jaemin pero ayaw nilang kumain ng wala pa si Donghyuck.

“Eto na papunta na. Di mo naman na kailangan tumawag pa,” sagot ni Donghyuck. 

“Pero Grab Share lang to,” dagdag nya sabay silip sa phone ng driver, “at may susunduin pa sa may Legazpi Village.”

“Fine,” sagot ng kaibigan nya. “At least on the way ka na. Sa Makati ka lang galing pero late ka pa rin. Nauna pa si Renjun sayo.”

Natawa na lang si Donghyuck at in-assure ang kaibigan na mabilis na lang naman ang byahe to BGC. It’s past 8 in the evening na rin at holiday naman ngayon.

Pagkababa nya ng phone ay napansin nyang nakarating na sila sa next pickup point ng driver.

After a minute ay sumakay na ang ka-share nya. And to Donghyuck’s surprise, it’s none other than Mark Lee.

JUNE 2010

“Jaemin Na! Kakalbuhin talaga kita!” sigaw ni Donghyuck habang pinupunasan ang pawis nya. He loves summer pero ang idea nya nito ay pagpapaaraw sa beach or resort at hindi sa ilalim mainit na araw sa isang open field para magtanim ng mga seedlings.

“You said you’d join me sa trip ko bilang kapalit ng final paper na tinapos ko para sayo last sem!” sagot ni Jaemin sabay tawa.

“Akala ko naman trip as in road trip or a beach trip. Di ko naman naisip na sa isang volunteerism project mo ako isasama. Bakit ba tayo nagtatanim ng puno sa gitna ng summer!” reklamo ni Donghyuck.

“Hey, helping Mother Nature is a good advocacy. Tsaka madali lang naman to. Wait, palapit dito yung mga seniors wag ka muna maingay, Hyuck.”

“Seniors?” tanong ni Donghyuck. Pero bago pa nakasagot si Jaemin ay may lumapit na sa kanilang dalawang lalake.

“Hey Mark!” masayang bati ni Jaemin. “Kakarating nyo lang?”

“Hi Jaemin!,” sagot ng kausap ni Jaemin. “Yeah, may inutos pa sina Kuya Yuta sa amin na ibang errands.”

Ah, ito pala si Mark Lee. Madalas mabanggit ng best friend nya ang pangalan nito bilang bagong crush nya na nakilala nya sa isang org nya. Very active si Jaemin sa extracurricular activities sa school and marami din syang mga crush so di laging nakaka-keep track si Donghyuck. Pero dahil sa dalas maikwento ni Jaemin, familiar na sya pangalan ni Mark. And he is cute, but Donghyuck didn’t think he’d be Jaemin’s type.

“This is Lucas nga pala,” pakilala ni Mark sa kasama nya. Mas matangkad ito sa kanya at gwapo din. “Classmate ko.”

“Ah, this is my best friend naman, Donghyuck. First time nya sumama sa akin sa ganito, lagi kase syang busy school,” pakilala ni Jaemin.

“Pareho ba kayong AB?” tanong ni Mark.

“Ah no. Sa CFAD ako,” sagot ni Donghyuck. 

“Ah, wow mga creative people. Magaling magsulat si Jaemin di ba?” sabi ni Mark. Ramdam ni Donghyuck na pinipigilan ng kaibigan nyang kiligin.

“Oo and it’s the only reason bakit ako nandito. May utang ako sa kanyang final paper e and ito ang kapalit na parusa.” 

Tumawa ng malakas si Mark. And Donghyuck thinks he is a nice guy. Too bad may ibang manok na siya para sa puso ni Jaemin.

They spend a few more hours chatting and planting. Around 5 p.m. natapos na rin yung program and binigyan sila ng konting oras para maghilamos at magpalit ng damit.  
Pagsakay sa school bus, tinanong agad ni Donghyuck si Jaemin.

“Nag-sign up ka lang ba dito dahil kay Mark?”

“Not really, promise. Yung common friend namin ni Mark, si Kuya Yuta, siya yung nag-aya sa akin and I thought it’s a good idea. Major plus point lang talaga na nandito din si Mark.”

Tumango lang si Donghyuck, not completely believing his best friend.

“But he is nice, this Mark guy. Kaya pala crush mo.”

“He is nice and cute and really talented. Lahat ng tao sa org namin may crush sa kanya,” sagot ni Jaemin.

“But do you like him for real?” tanong ni Donghyuck. “Harmless crush lang ba or something more?”

Jaemin thinks about it for a minute. “Harmless crush lang, I think. We haven’t really bonded na kaming two lang so it’s hard to say.”

December 30, 2019

“Hyuck!” bati ni Mark kay Donghyuck pagsakay nya sa sasakyan. “Ang tagal na natin di nagkikita!”

“Mark! Hi!” sagot ni Donghyuck, trying to match the enthusiasm ng pagbati ni Mark. It’s not that he is not happy to see him. He’s just really surprised.

“I think the last time na nagkita tayo was… ah ang tagal na di ko na rin maalala...” sabi ni Mark. “Kumusta ka na? Pauwi ka na rin ba?”

“I’m fine. Yeah, the last time I saw you was nung despedida ni Kuya Johnny ata,” sagot ni Donghyuck. He remembered the night clearly, three Christmases ago. Mark was slightly drunk, hogging the mic of the videoke. He was smiling so happily and Donghyuck’s heart had hurt so much.

“Ah right. That was before I got busy din. Tapos di ko na alam anong nangyari but we lost communication. Do you still have the same number?” sabi ni Mark, sabay bukas ng phone nya.

“I’ll save my new one if you want,” Donghyuck offers. 

“Sige please. Let’s keep in touch again,” sagot ni Mark habang inaabot ang phone nya kay Donghyuck. 

Inilagay ni Donghyuck ang bagong number nya sa phone ni Mark ng mabilis before he changes his mind. At least it’s his number on Mark’s phone and not the other way around. If Mark doesn’t contact him, it’s all on Mark na and Donghyuck won’t overthink about wanting to keep in touch with him.

AUGUST 2010

“Hyuck, nag-text si Lucas. Punta tayo sa post-birthday celeb nila for Mark next Saturday,” sabi ni Jaemin habang nakangiti sa phone nya. Nasa bahay sila ni Jaemin for their usual Friday night hang out at nanonood ng movie sa sala nila. 

Automatically, napatingin si Donghyuck kay Jeno na katabi nya sa sofa. Naka-poker face lang ang kaibigan nya, eyes on the screen and obviously ignoring Donghyuck’s stare.

Huminga ng malalim si Donghyuck at ibinaling ang atensyon sa isa pang kaibigan na very busy na nagtatype sa phone nya.

“Lucas? Ka-text mo sya?” tanong ni Donghyuck.

“Yep, we exchanged numbers after nung tree planting,” sagot ni Jaemin.

“Akala ko ba si Mark ang crush mo,” tanong ni Donghyuck. Again, di na naman sya maka-keep track sa mga pinagkakaabalahan ni Jaemin. “Bakit si Lucas na ang ka-text mo? Todo ngiti ka pa dyan.”

Tumawa si Jaemin at binaba ang phone nya. “Sorry. Nakakaaliw kasi kausap si Lucas. Crush lang naman si Mark and he seems not interested in me so hanggang dun na lang.”

Napataas ng kilay si Donghyuck. “Someone is not interested in you? That’s hard to believe. Akala ko nga Mark was flirting with you nung tree planting when you introduced us to each other.”

“Loko ka,” Jaemin said, sabay bato ng throw pillow kay Donghyuck. “Not everyone likes me like that, Hyuck. And Mark was definitely not flirting then. Di mo pa kase masyado kilala si Mark Lee but he’s just really nice and flattery with everyone. I don’t think he even knows how to really intentionally flirt. Unlike Lucas, who I’m pretty sure is really flirting with me now”

“Hmmm… I thought Mark was pretty predictable. Pero sabi mo nga I don’t know him that well.”

“Let’s go to this party na para mas makilala mo sya. Gusto mo rin bang sumama Jen? I’ll ask Renjun too pagdating nya.” tanong ni Jaemin.

“I’ll pass, kayo nalang ni Hyuck. Pero that’s a day before your birthday Nana. So don’t get drunk,” sagot ni Jeno.

“Yes boss,” Jaemin said with a smile. “Wait kuha ako ng more popcorn.”

Pag-alis ni Jaemin sa sala ay pinalo ni Donghyuck si Jeno sa left arm nya. 

“Aray! Donghyuck!”

“Sinasabi ko sayo Jeno Lee, if Jaemin ends up dating someone other than you it’s partially your fault too.”

“Alam ko naman yun,” sagot ni Jeno, sabay buntong hininga. “Pero anong magagawa ko? Hindi ko naman sya pwedeng pigilan from meeting other people.”

“May pwede kang gawin. You can tell him you like him too. He confessed to you first and you turned him down dahil kaka-start lang natin sa college nun at naintindihan naman kita kase nag-aadjust pa tayong lahat nun. But that’s one year ago na, di na valid yung reason na yun. I am very sure he still likes you the most.”

“I can’t just ask him out dahil convenient na sa akin now, Hyuck. It will be so unfair to him. And what if hindi na pala nya ako gusto? Not in the same way as before? Uungkatin na naman natin yung issue na yun and magiging awkward na naman kami. What if hindi na bumalik sa dati yung friendship namin?”

“He still deserves to know what you feel, Jen. Let Nana decide for himself. Kesa sinesecond guess mo sya at pinangunguhan what his choice will be. I know you really like Jaemin. But liking is not enough, Jen. You need to tell him that too.”

“Ayokong mawala si Jaemin,” sagot ni Jeno. “I’m risking too much.”

“You should put more faith in the friendship you have. And my opinion stands, if you don’t make your move, you can’t fault him if he thinks you just don’t want to date him and he ends up liking someone else.”

December 30, 2019

Pagbalik ni Donghyuck sa phone ni Mark napansin nya na nasa may BGC area na sila.

“I think mauuna ang drop off ko,” sabi ni Mark. “Do you live around here too? Baka we can meet ng madalas. Just like old times.”

“Ah no. It’s Jaemin and Jeno who live here. Magdidinner lang ako sa house nila tonight.”

“Oh! Kumusta na sila? And Renjun too? Nasa Australia pa ba sya?”

“Ayun, Jaemin and Jeno are engaged na. They plan to get married next year. Resident na sa UST Hospital si Jeno. Renjun is back in Manila for the holidays pero babalik din sya ng Sydney next month.”

“Ah, namiss ko naman makita kayong apat together. But I really missed you the most. I’m still in disbelief na we lost communication just like that,” sabi ni Mark. His tone was genuinely sad and Donghyuck picked that up fast. It’s been three years but Mark still feels so familiar to him. He kinda hates himself now.

“We both got busy,” sagot ni Donghyuck, trying his best to downplay the fact that it was his choice to stay away. He feels guilty for intentionally avoiding Mark all these time. He knows Mark tried to reach out, asking their common friends when Donghyuck doesn’t show up to their gatherings. 

“But we are good right? We are still friends?” tanong ni Mark. And Donghyuck hates how sincere Mark was with his question. 

“Of course,” sagot na mabilis ni Donghyuck, offering a genuine smile too. It’s been three years with no Mark Lee in his life and yet the boy’s magic still did not change for Donghyuck.

AUGUST 2010

“Hey Jaemin! Donghyuck! Come in!” bati ni Mark na nagbukas ng pinto para sa kanila. 

“Happy Birthday Mark!” masayang sabi ni Jaemin, sabay abot ng isang bote ng wine kay Mark. “Hati kami ni Hyuck dito. We didn’t know what to get you.” 

Tumawa lang si Mark at tinignan ang bote. “Actually di ako umiinom ng wine pero my roommate will love this. Wala pa ako sa level ng wine drinking hanggang beer lang ako.”

“Oh no. Di pa naman umiinom ng beer si Hyuck. Pangit daw ang lasa,” sabi ni Jaemin, sabay akbay sa kaibigan.

“We have vodka and tequila din, may dala sina Lucas,” alok ni Mark.

“Wag kang maniwala kay Jaemin. I don’t really drink at all naman,” sabi ni Donghyuck.

“Ako din. Baka matapos ang gabing ito na tayong dalawa lang ang sober. Pero maraming food, so eat a lot and feel at home,” sabi ni Mark.

And true to his words, by past midnight, sober pa rin si Donghyuck. Which is a good thing dahil ang best friend nya, lasing na.

“Nana, nag-promise ka kay Jeno na di ka iinom masyado. Patay tayong dalawa nyan,” problemadong sabi ni Donghyuck as he dials Jeno’s number.

“Sshh.. don’t worry Hyuck. Birthday ko na naman di ba? Di na pwedeng magalit si Jeno sa akin.”

“Sayo! Pero paano naman ako. Sasabihin na naman niya masyado kita kinunsinte. Di nga kita nakitang umiinom e.”

Tumawa ng malakas si Jaemin. “Pano mo ako makikitang umiinom e busy ka with Mark. He charmed you too right?” 

“Charmed in what way?” tanong ni Donghyuck. “Okay naman syang kausap and the only one really not drinking so kaming dalawa lang talaga naiwan habang nagpapabasag kayo.”

“Excuses, Donghyuck Lee. Di ba talaga tumatalab ang charm ni Mark sayo? Everyone I know that knows Mark has a crush on him.”

“He is likable. I don’t know what more you want to hear from me pero I’m not attracted to him romantically. Bat mo ba siya ipinagtutulakan sa akin,” Donghyuck argues.

“Hindi ko sya ipinagtutulakan. I am just testing the popular theory that everyone falls in love with Mark Lee,” Jaemin insists.

Donghyuck did not know how to respond. At pakiramdam nya alcohol na lang ang nagsasalita on behalf of his friend so he chose not to answer anymore.

Minutes later, dumating na si Jeno para sunduin sila. Si Donghyuck na lang ang bumalik sa loob ng apartment para magpaalam kina Mark while Jeno carried Jaemin to his car.

Surprisingly, Mark was drinking a glass of beer na nung binalikan sya ni Donghyuck. 

“Did I keep you away from drinking the whole night?” Donghyuck genuinely asks. 

“Hindi! Kuya Taeil just insisted I drink a bit and forced me this one. I was seriously not feeling the alcohol tonight,” sagot ni Mark.

“Ah buti naman. Akala ko napilitan ka lang wag uminom because dumikit ako sayo and insisted I don’t want to drink.”

“No, I had fun talking to you. Kahit na puro pang-aasar lang and weird observations of my friends ang sinabi mo the whole night.”

Tumawa si Donghyuck at pabirong nag-salute kay Mark. “Glad to keep you entertained, birthday boy,” he said sabay paalam na dahil naghihintay na si Jeno sa labas.

It was a good night and Donghyuck did find Mark endearing. Somehow, Mark Lee is also unpredictable. And tama si Jaemin, he has a way of making people around him special. It must be the way he gives his entire focus on you pag kayo ang magkausap. Donghyuck found it a very good personality trait.

SEPTEMBER 2010

When they first met, hindi inasahan ni Donghyuck na magiging close talaga sila ni Mark. The kind of closeness na gugulatin ka nya habang marami kang dala. Buti na lang maagap si Donghyuck at di nalaglag ang take out nyang pagkain. Tinulungan din naman siya ni Mark habang tumatawa.

Tinanong sya ni Mark san nya balak kumain at nung nalaman nyang balak lang nito maghanap ng libreng bench sa may Lovers’ Lane ay sinamahan nya na ito.

"Uuwi lang sana ako sa apartment kase two hours lang break ko. Pero asamahan na lang kita para hindi rin ako tamarin bumalik sa building ko mamaya," sabi ni Mark habang inaayos ang gamit nila sa napili nilang bench. Buti na lang medyo makulimlim ang panahon ngayon at hindi ganun kainit.

"Sayang naman ang two hours. Pwede mo na itulog yun. Kung malapit lang din sana ang bahay ko di na ako mahihirapan," sagot ni Donghyuck habang kumakagat sa cheeseburger nya.

"San ka ba nakatira?"

"Sa Las Piñas. Magka-village kami ni Jaemin. We've been friends since high school."

"Ah that's nice. Ako wala akong ganun katagal na kaibigan. Palipat-lipat kase ako ng schools. Lived in Canada when I was young pero we moved back here nung high school ko because my mom got sick. I lived with my cousin since I started in college and yung friends ni Kuya Taeyong lang din talaga ang mga pinaka-kaclose ko. Plus yung classmates ko, sina Lucas."

"But Jaemin said you're very friendly. Medyo weird nga kase feeling ko ang bilis din natin naging close."

"Hindi ba si Jaemin ang friendly? He was easy to talk to when we first met e. Kayong dalawa, actually."

Tumango si Donghyuck at sumagot, "Oo, that's Nana's charm nga."

"Nana?"

"Jaemin's nickname. Our other best friend, si Renjun, gave it to him."

"Oh that's cute. Ikaw anong nickname mo?"

"Well, my best friends call me Hyuck."

"I'll call you Hyuck na rin para close na tayo. And we should exchange numbers. Para if you need a place to crash in between classes, message mo lang ako."

NOVEMBER 2010

Madalas na sinasabi ng mga best friends ni Donghyuck na he has the most unfortunate habit when falling in love. It’s because he only realizes it kapag na-fall out na sya. 

The first person he really liked was a friend from high school, Yangyang. They were clingy to each other and never restrained from saying affectionate words to the other. Until one day, nagising si Donghyuck and na-realize nya na he is being affectionate to Yangyang platonically na lang. He fell out of love before he even realized he was in love. 

There were a few other boys and girls -- his blockmate Sanha, the pretty girl from DLSU Yeri, Renjun’s cousin Hendery -- but all ended before Donghyuck even officially got together with them. 

He is not like Jaemin who wears his heart on his sleeve, open to loving anyone, or Jeno who has only liked one person his whole life or Renjun who believes in the process of dating for a long time before getting into a relationship and calling it love. Walang definite way si Donghyuck to determine how he falls in love. 

Until he actually, really falls in love.

It started gradually, him being charmed by Mark Lee and secretly liking it when the other boy gave him time from his busy day. Madalas silang mag-tawagan sa gabi, because Mark prefers phone calls. They often meet inside the campus too for the most random reasons. 

“Hyuck kailangan ko ng ID picture, samahan mo akong magpaprint.”  
“Hyuck asan ka? Ah nasa lib ka lang? Puntahan kita.”

“Hyuck nagluto si Kuya Taeyong ng marami last night kase anniversary nila ni Kuya Doyoung. Sa amin ka na maglunch tapos sabay na tayo pumasok.”

During one of their late night talks, habang tinatapos ni Donghyuck ang plates nya at ayaw mag-review ni Mark for his exam the next day, Mark played the guitar for Donghyuck over the phone.

It was a cover of Tamia’s Officially Missing You and the phone’s speaker doesn’t register sound well, but Donghyuck was gone. Hook, line, sinker.

Parang rumaragasang tren ang pagpasok ni Mark sa buhay ni Donghyuck, and before he knew it, na-fall na sya for Mark. 

Nung na-realize nya na may halong kilig na kapag magkasama sila ni Mark, ang unang naisip ni Donghyuck ay magsabi sa mga kaibigan nya. Hindi lang sya makahanap ng tamang timing. Ni hindi pa nga masyadong aware sina Jaemin na madalas silang mag-hang out at mag-tawagan ni Mark. Donghyuck was not intentionally keeping it a secret. Nahirapan lang sya i-bring up kase crush parin ang tawag ni Jaemin kay Mark.

Around the time that he was overthinking his feelings for Mark, may big change na nangyari sa grupo nila. 

It was a chilly November and the new sem was just starting when Jeno finally, officially asked Jaemin to be his boyfriend.

Halong tuwa at exasperation ang naramdaman ni Donghyuck at Renjun na finally si Jeno and Jaemin na. Saksi silang dalawa sa push and pull ng mga kaibigan nila and for a brief period Donghyuck and Renjun were worried too na baka they really won’t end up with each other. 

The way Jeno and Jaemin became officially together was as dramatic as the two of them were. Nagsimula sa sagutan to the point na nag-walk out si Jaemin at hinabol sya ni Jeno. And when finally confessed that he was jealous because he loves Jaemin, nag-iiyakan na ang dalawa sa gitna ng Plaza Mayor. 

Later, when the four of them were eating in McDonalds na and nahimasmasan na ang dalawa, they both realized na eksena talaga ang ginawa nila. 

But the adrenaline and energy (and momentary ka-dramahan) of Jaemin and Jeno getting together pushed Donghyuck to confess that he may have a huge crush on Mark.

Renjun was confused kase di nya kilala si Mark. Jaemin was not surprised and said it’s hard not to fall for Mark especially if after sa kwento ni Donghyuck that they’ve become so close. And Jeno… Jeno was jealous. 

“I’m not jealous. Pfft. Pero ayokong mag-react muna kase sa utak ko andun pa si Mark Lee dun sa mga kalaban ko for Jaemin’s attention. And I don’t know him as well. So, good luck on your feelings, I guess.”

December 30, 2019

Hindi alam ni Donghyuck kung swerte ba sya or malas ngayong nagtagpo ulit ang landas nila ni Mark.

Donghyuck was still mildly shocked when he arrived at Jaemin and Jeno's place. Hindi talaga sya handa sa biglaang pagbabalik ng isang importanteng tao sa buhay nya.

Na-pick up naman agad ng mga kaibigan nya ang mood nya.

"Anong nangyari sayo? Are you okay?" tanong ni Renjun. 

Napansin agad ni Donghyuck ang silver gray hair ng kaibigan nya. “Hey Injun. That color looks good on you. I missed you,” bati ni Donghyuck sabay yakap sa kaibigan nya.

“I missed you too. Pero anong nangyari? Bakit tulala ka?” tanong ni Renjun.

“You won’t believe sinong ka-share ko sa Grab on my way here,” sabi ni Donghyuck.

“Uh… is it Piolo Pascual?” seryosong tanong ni Jaemin. Sabay-sabay na napatingin ang mga kaibigan nya sa kanya.

“What? Sabi nila he lives in this building too,” Jaemin said with a shrug.

“Okay, not Piolo. It’s not a celebrity. It’s Mark Lee,” sabi ni Donghyuck.

“Oh my god! That’s even better than Piolo!” sigaw ni Jaemin.

“Your ex?” tanong ni Renjun.

“Kapitbahay din namin si Mark?” Jeno curiously asks. 

“He’s not my ex, Renjun. We were never together. And hindi nyo kapitbahay, Jen. He lives two streets away. And how is this even better, Nana? Sana si Piolo nalang talaga nakasakay ko,” Donghyuck whines.

“Yeah, Renjun. Hindi ex ni Donghyuck si Mark. They never dated officially, only passionately, exclusively flirted with each other for years,” sabat ni Jaemin.

“Shut up, Jaemin. Alam mong hindi ganun yun. Mark didn’t like me like that.” 

“Didn’t we all agree that Mark was bad for Donghyuck? Huwag mo na i-sugarcoat yung nangyari sa kanila, love,” Jeno said.

And these words were the best reminder for Donghyuck why he avoided Mark Lee in the first place. 

“I know I agreed and encouraged Hyuck to move on from Mark,” sagot ni Jaemin. “But we all know Mark was not entirely the bad guy here. Even Hyuck knows that.”

For a minute, all four of them were quiet. 

“So is he back in your life for good?” tanong bigla ni Renjun. 

“I don’t know. I don’t know yet and I don’t want to think about this muna. Let’s have dinner na. I’m sorry for ruining the mood.”

“You didn’t ruin the mood, Hyuck. You just made it more thrilling,” Renjun said, sabay kindat sa kaibigan.

MAY 2011

“Hey Hyuck. Gusto mo ba manood ng gig namin?”

“Gig? Like tutugtog kayo sa bar?”

“Not bar. Just a small cafe. Malapit lang sya dito sa Uste. Actually, friend ng ka-org ko lang yung may-ari din tapos they needed someone to play this weekend ng last minute.”

“Sure sige. Gusto ko din marinig kang tumugtog outside of your soundcloud.”

Donghyuck is one of the few people who knows about Mark’s soundcloud. Nagulat pa sya when Mark sent him the link when he asked if he records himself singing and playing his guitar. But Donghyuck haven’t told Mark that he visits the page regularly and madalas nya pakinggan ang mga original compositions ng kaibigan nya.

“We are not that good. Just decent enough?”

“Pa-humble ka pa, Mark Lee. I will be the judge of that.”

And really, Mark did not prepare Donghyuck enough for what he was able to see.

Mark plays the acoustic guitar and sings sub-vocals while his friend Johnny plays the percussion and Ten sings as the main vocals. 

They sounded nice for an amateur group and their music fits the lounge-type coffee shop. 

Ang huling kinanta nila was an original song Mark composed, one that Donghyuck had on loop since Mark gave him his soundcloud.

And maybe Donghyuck just fell a little bit more that night.

After the gig, Mark drove Donghyuck home as a thank you sa pag punta nya.

"Salamat sa pag punta ah. Ikaw lang talaga ang na-invite ko kase medyo takot ako sa magiging reaction ng iba.”

"Akala ko pa naman may ibang special reason kung bakit ako lang ang inaya mo," biro ni Donghyuck. But deep inside he feel flattered.

"Hey that's a special reason. You know one thing about me that many don't know," sagot ni Mark.

"You were really great tonight, Mark. I was really impressed," sabi ni Donghyuck.

"I'm glad you liked our performance. I really love playing and writing songs and immersing in music pero hanggang dun na lang sya. This is probably the only time I could get to sing in public and it's a good memory."

"Bakit naman? Malay mo in the future di ba? Wala ka bang plan to pursue music and make a career out of it?"

"I contemplated on that too. But I think I would be a good Civil Engineer din naman. I like what I'm studying and okay naman ang grades ko. So there is no enough reason to give it up. And I can't do both."

Hindi sumagot si Donghyuck at piniling titigan lang ng matagal si Mark.

Tumawa si Mark at sinabi "too serious na ba?"

"No… it's not that. It's just… wala lang. I like it when you talk about serious stuff too."

AUGUST 2011

Donghyuck realized kung gaano kabilis ang pagpasok ni Mark sa buhay nya during Mark’s birthday. It’s only been a year since that birthday celebration kung saan basag na basag si Jaemin while Mark stayed sober with Donghyuck.

Naalala ni Donghyuck yung theory ni Jaemin na “everyone falls in love with Mark Lee” and he doesn’t know if he should be happy na normal lang talaga mahulog for this guy or feel sad na statistic lang sya sa mga taong nahuhulog sa kaibigan nya. But he refuses to overthink this, wala naman syang balak magsabi kay Mark and maybe maggrow out nya din yung feelings nya.

This year, there was no party and no alcohol. Niyaya syang mag-lunch ni Mark randomly two days, giving Donghyuck exact instructions san sila magkikita and what time. Medyo late na na-realize ni Donghyuck na birthday pala ni Mark sa araw na binanggit nito. So Donghyuck had to rush his gift that made him late sa usapan nila.

“Akala ko hindi ka na darating e.”

“Sayang naman ang libreng pagkain if di ako dumating.”

“Sabi ko na yung libre ko lang ang habol mo eh!”

“Syempre joke lang. Pinagpuyatan ko pa itong regalo mo.”

“Oh! So alam mo na birthday ko. Wow! Ang ganda naman ng pagkakabalot nito. Kailangan dahan-dahan ang pagbukas ko.” 

“Medyo OC ako, alam mo naman yun. Pero okay lang kahit punitin mo na.”

“I’ll be very careful,” Mark insists. Maingat nyang tinanggal ang mga tape sa balot, to Donghyuck’s delight. Pagbukas ni Mark ng regalo, dahan-dahan nya nilabas sa box ang isang CD case.

“Pinagdesign kita ng mock album cover. Tapos yung mga kanta mo sa soundcloud mo, naka-burn sa mismong CD. Pero may dinagdag ako na isang kanta. Wag mong tatawanan ah!” paliwanag ni Donghyuck. 

Alam nya sobrang cheesy nung idea pero wala na syang ibang maisip ng very last minute. Inexpect nya na matutuwa naman si Mark kase madali lang itong i-please. Ang hindi nya inasahan ay sa sobrang tuwa, yayakapin sya ni Mark.

“Ang ganda Hyuck,” sabi ni Mark after the brief hug. “Parang feeling ko dapat kitang bayaran para dito. Ginamitan mo ng talent mo ang regalo mo sa akin.”

“Okay ng bayad itong libreng pizza. And simple lang naman ang message ng regalo ko. Kahit feeling mo hindi na pwedeng matupad yung pangarap mo na maging recording artist, I hope you don’t stop making the music you love. Just do what makes you happy.”

“Thanks Hyuck. This means so much to me.”

December 31, 2019

Donghyuck woke up with a headache. Hindi naman sila masyadong uminom ng mga kaibigan nya, just some wine. But they talked a lot and madaling araw na rin sila natapos. 

Pagtingin ni Donghyuck sa phone nya 10 a.m. palang, which means five hours lang ang tulog nya. 

There were three messages on his phone: Jaemin checking up if he was home na, Renjun saying he got home na rin and that they’ll meet again before he leaves, and one unknown number.

“Happy New Year Hyuck. - Mark”

Donghyuck contemplated hard what to reply. He decided to sleep some more para mas ready sya pag nag-reply na sya. He wakes up after two hours with his mom insisting na tumulong sya sa mga kailangan i-luto.

So he decided to reply a generic Happy New Year to Mark na lang. There must be an important reason why Mark came back to his life after three years of trying to forget him. Maybe this is their second chance, or maybe this is finally his closure. 

APRIL 2012  
For Donghyuck, the hardest part in realizing that he likes Mark is the part that he likes Mark so much that it’s so hard to like anyone else anymore. 

“One date, Hyuck. And I won’t ask for anything again,” nagmamakaawang sabi ni Renjun.

Renjun hasn’t dated anyone for years, not after his break up with Dejun. But he seems excited with this new guy he met. 

“Bakit kailangan kase double date pa, Injunnie.”

“It’s my choice. I haven’t dated anyone in so long and bringing a friend would make both Jaehyun and I feel comfortable. Please help me, Hyuck.”

“Fine. Basta wala akong gagastusin ah. Kundi lagot ka sa akin.”

“Wala, promise.”

Hours later, Donghyuck found himself in front of Mark’s apartment. 

“San ka galing?” tanong ni Mark nung pinagbuksan sya ng pinto. He’s freshly showered and Donghyuck knows kakauwi lang nya from playing basketball with his friends. Donghyuck plopped on Mark’s sofa with a big sigh. Umupo sa tabi nya si Mark, waiting for his reply.

“Would you believe I went out on a date?” 

“Date? Sinong ka-date mo? Wala kang nabanggit sa akin na may gusto ka pala.”

“I don’t tell you everything, Mark. And hindi ko naman sya gusto. Sinamahan ko lang sa double date si Renjun.”

“Oh… so how was it?”

“It was nice. Sicheng is nice,” tahimik na sagot ni Donghyuck.

“So… anong problema? Bakit parang hindi ka masaya? Wala na bang second date? He didn’t like you?”

“Actually, he asked if I wanted to hang out with Renjun and Jaehyun next time. Sabi ko we can naman pero as friends lang talaga.”

“O bakit naman ni-cut mo agad? You don’t like him?”

Tumingin si Donghyuck kay Mark ng matagal and frowned. Nakakainis si Mark Lee.

“Walang spark. Di naman yun important sa akin before kase pwede naman ma-develop lang pero ang hirap this time? Is it because there’s someone else I like?”

“Wait. Pause. You do like someone? Sino to? You never told me anything.”

“Ah. Nevermind. I don’t like anyone. I just... I don’t like anyone.”

“Donghyuck!”

“Shut up, Mark. Let me sulk tonight in peace.”

DECEMBER 2012

It took six months bago naging si Jaehyun and Renjun. And by Christmas of 2012, lahat ng kaibigan ni Donghyuck ay may significant other. Which means they want to do a join Christmas Party.

“Ayokong mag-fifth wheel sa inyo!” 

“It’s a party. We will be inviting other friends. Maraming tao. You can invite Mark,” sagot ni Jaemin.

“That’s still so weird parang plus one ko sya.”

“Then invite other friends. Parang maghohost lang tayo ng party pero open for all naman.”

So Donghyuck invited Mark, Johnny, and Ten. Dumating din si Sicheng and yung cousin nya na si Chenle with his boyfriend Jisung. Jeno invited some of his classmates and Jaemin wanted to invite Lucas pero big no kay Jeno.

“He’s still jealous pero kay Lucas na lang,” Jaemin said sabay tawa. Donghyuck will never understand those two.

Jeno’s house was quite spacious so hindi naman overcrowded ang party. It was a simple salo-salo but everyone brought small gifts for a secret santa game.

When the party ended, some of their friends chose to stay the night for an impromptu sleepover, including Mark. 

Naturally, Mark gravitated towards Donghyuck’s spot too sa air mattress na nilabas ni Jeno for them.

Madaling araw na and everyone is asleep around Donghyuck. Pero hindi sya makatulog and his heart is pounding fast with Mark sleeping right beside him. 

“Ah this is too bad. I think I like you too much na,” Donghyuck whispers. He said it so quietly but saying it out in the open like this, Donghyuck felt it to be more real. 

2013

Mark graduated in 2013 and ang akala ni Donghyuck it will be the end of their friendship too. But it turned out, Mark had more free time now so he often met up with Donghyuck.

It was a hectic year for Donghyuck kase graduating na sya. Mark was reviewing for his board exam too. 

But Mark was always there. Their phone calls still happened almost every night. Sometimes he’d pick Donghyuck up from his classmate’s house where they usually finish group projects together. On weekends when they are both free, they’d hang out together either with Mark’s friends or Donghyuck’s friends.

And for a bit of a period, Donghyuck allowed himself to be delusional that he and Mark mean something more.

OCTOBER 2014

“Are we really watching another Nicholas Sparks’ movie?” tanong ni Donghyuck kay Mark habang nasa pila sila sa ticket booth.

“Hey! Ako ang may choice ng movie na papanoorin natin this time. Ikaw na pumili last week.”

“I was just making sure gusto mo talagang panoorin to.”

“Bakit naman what’s wrong? Ikaw kaya nag-introduce sa akin sa Nicholas Sparks’ movies when we watched that one movie a few years ago.”

“That was The Lucky One di ba? Si Zac Efron yun it was a good choice. The cinematography was amazing.”

“You cried so hard that time, Hyuck. Buti na lang last full show na tayo nanood kase ang lakas ng iyak mo.”

“Like I said, a good choice for a movie.”

“Then I think this will be a good choice too. Don’t question my choice na.”

“Fine, next week ako naman ang pipili ng movie natin.”

“Oh… baka wala ako next weekend pala. Di ko ba nasabi sayo?”

“Huh? San ang punta mo?”

“Mag-out of town kami nina Lucas. Sa bahay ng boyfriend sa Cebu. Kasama yung ibang classmates namin nung college.”

“Ah from Cebu pala si Kuya Kun. Kasama ba si Jungwoo sa trip nyo?”

“Yes! So nabanggit ko naman pala sayo.”

“No, di mo nabanggit. I just assumed kasama nga si Jungwoo. He likes you di ba?”

“Like? Panong like? I don’t think so.”

“You’re still clueless, Mark Lee.”

Hindi na nakasagot si Mark dahil inabutan na sila sa harap ng ticket booth. “We’ll talk about this later, Donghyuck,” mabilis nyang sagot. But later nakalimutan na rin nila dahil si Mark naman ang naiyak sa movie na pinanood nila. 

December 31, 2019

Mark has added you Line!

Mark: I still have the guitar.  
(attached photo)

“Kahit kelan talaga foul ka, Mark Lee,” gigil na sabi ni Donghyuck sa sarili nya. It’s three hours before midnight and mag-uumpisa na dapat sila ng family nya mag media noche when he got the message. It’s Mark’s favorite guitar that he made Donghyuck paint on years ago. Hindi na maalala ni Donghyuck kelan exactly yun but he remembers the moment clearly. 

Nasa isang pav lang sila sa may Quadri, waiting for Jeno and Jaemin to finish their classes. It was past 6 in the evening. Still Mark insisted for Donghyuck to paint on the guitar. Kinabahan pa si Donghyuck baka hindi matuyo yung paint before 9 p.m. na curfew na sa university at out ng dalawang kaibigan nila. 

To think that the guitar is precious to Mark and he is flaunting to Donghyuck now na tinago nya talaga and kept it safe, it only makes Donghyuck mad.

Nung hindi sya nag-reply, Mark sent another message.

“I really missed you. Gusto ko lang maintindihan what happened between us.”

Now Donghyuck feels guilty. Naalala nya ang sinabi ni Jaemin kagabi. It’s not Mark’s fault completely. In fact, Mark has never led him on. It was all on Donghyuck. And maybe it’s time to make up for it.

“Let’s catch up again. We’ve always been friends naman. Lunch tomorrow if free ka?” 

Donghyuck sent the message bago pa magbago ang isip nya. 

2015 

Donghyuck always knew that one day, he has to tell Mark how he really feels.

In 2015, life was not a smooth ride for most of them. 

Renjun and Jaehyun broke up because Renjun is migrating to Australia. They were not ready for a long distance relationship. 

Jeno was in medical school and Jaemin was busy building his career. The little hours they got to see each other strained their relationship. Their answer to their relationship dilemma was to move in together. Donghyuck thought it was a terrible choice to do when their relationship was not at its best. 

But what did Donghyuck know about relationships kung sya itong ang alam lang gawin ay paikutin ang buhay nya sa isang taong di naman alam ang nararamdaman nya.

In 2015, Mark briefly dated Jungwoo. They lasted only two months, but it was the most terrible months in Donghyuck’s life.

Syempre, dahil bagong break, inaya siyang uminom ng kaibigan nya. Donghyuck refused the alcohol pero hinayaan nyang uminom si Mark. Pinakinggan nya lang din si Mark as he whines over the failed relationship.

“I know naman hindi kami ganun ka-into each other. Pero to end it agad before we can grow it into something? Nasasayangan lang talaga ako,” sabi ni Mark. 

“Bakit ba kasi naging kayo in the first place kung di nyo naman pala ganun ka-gusto ang isa’t isa?” tanong ni Donghyuck.

It’s so absurd kase alam ni Donghyuck that Jungwoo has liked Mark since college. 

“Well, he said he likes me and has always thought I’d make a good boyfriend. Which is sobrang weird nga kase classmates na kami when I dated Mina back in college and sobrang fail ko din nun as a boyfriend.”

“Maybe he still liked you despite that. Jungwoo is not Mina naman, they don’t have the same demands in a relationship.”

“Exactly! Yan din ang naisip ko Hyuck. So I thought, hey sige let’s give this a try.”

“So ano yun? Nag-confess lang sya tapos um-oo ka nalang?”

“Jungwoo is a good friend and we match in many things din naman.”

“Hay Mark. So if I confess to you now magiging tayo ba? If yun lang naman ang requirement mo to be in a relationship with someone.”

Mark was stunned. His eyes were shocked. Then he frowned.

“Wag kang mag-biro ng ganyan, Hyuck.”

Pero hindi na maka-preno si Donghyuck. Listening to Mark cry over a failed two-months relationship pushed him to keep talking. 

“I’m not joking. I’ve loved you for five years. If I ask you to be my boyfriend now papayag ka ba?”

Mark’s face turned angry. “I can’t believe you would do this now when I just got dumped by another guy. Di mo ba kayang seryosohin ang nararamdaman ko kahit minsan lang?”

Mark’s words offended Donghyuck. Pero alam nya he’s the one who’s out of line right now. 

Before Donghyuck can even say anything, Mark paid for their tab and left. “Uwi nako. I’ll just text you later.”

When they meet again two weeks later, parang walang nangyari. Donghyuck thought of apologizing and taking back his words pero hindi nya tinuloy. Wala naman syang sinabi na hindi totoo kay Mark that night. It was Mark who apologized, both for saying harsh words and for leaving Donghyuck sa bar. It was also Mark who promised hindi na nya aawayin ulit si Donghyuck, that he is more precious than anyone else in his life. 

Donghyuck listened to his words in one ear and let it out on his other ear. 

DECEMBER 2016 

Donghyuck realized that he needs to stop being in love with Mark on the same night he realized he will probably never find another love as wonderful as Mark Lee.

It was during the holiday season of 2016 and they gathered for Johnny’s despedida since he was moving, permanently, to Chicago.

It hit Donghyuck that he spent another full year of being in love with his best friend who had already rejected his feelings before. 

During the videoke time, tipsy Mark Lee grabbed two microphones and passed the other one to Donghyuck. Pinipilit nya na they should sing their favorite duet song together.

When Katherine McPhee’s Terrified began playing, pakiramdam ni Donghyuck lalamunin sya ng buhay ng feelings nya. So he sang it all, enjoying the way his voice mixes well with Mark’s and how Mark’s eyes glow as he laughs happily after they sing.

A few days later he accepted a job offer in Singapore, effective January 2017. 

January 1, 2020 

They chose to meet in Makati. It’s the first day of the year so limited lang ang mga bukas na kainan. 

They started with small talk and them being Mark and Donghyuck, it was easy to fall back to their natural banter. Donghyuck talked about how he moved to Singapore and worked there for almost two years. When his contract ended, he went back to Manila because he received a better job offer without suffering the distance.

Of course Mark will ask why he never said anything to him and why he cut him out just like that.

“Since we are trying this friendship thing again, kailangan maging honest ako sayo from the start,” umpisang sabi ni Donghyuck. “I loved you Mark. Like, I was really in love with you for years. More than a friend. And it got so hard. I confessed to you three times though you only remember one but even then you rejected me. But it’s not your fault. Di ka naman required mahalin ako the same way I loved you. Pero it got too hard for me to be beside you when my feelings are so messed up. I’m sorry. Di dapat ako umalis ng walang pasabi.”

Mark was quiet, but openly staring at Donghyuck’s face. “Dapat pinagusapan natin to. It’s so funny because we talk about everything in our lives except this. But why did you say you confessed three times? I only remember two.”

“Two? Hindi ba isa lang? Yung sa bar after your breakup with Jungwoo. One was in college pa pero tulog ka nun and the last one was during the last day we met.”

“I heard the first one. Yung sa bahay ni Jeno during college, when I slept next to you. Akala mo tuloy nako pero narinig kita nun. But I thought you were not sure of your feelings back then so hindi ko alam how to respond. You didn’t bring it up din ulit. The last one… dun sa despedida ni Johnny?”

“Yes. We hugged and I said I’m probably going to be in love with you for many more years.”

“I didn’t hear that. Maybe I was drunk or maybe it was so noisy pero di ko talaga narinig yun. You shouldn’t confess to people pag nakainom sila, Hyuck.”

“Well, di ko alam yun Mark. You are the only person I ever confessed to” sagot ni Hyuck, sabay shrug.

“Did I hurt you too much that you preferred to cut me off?” tanong ni Mark in a very sad tone, one that Donghyuck has never encountered before in all the years he knew Mark.

“It’s not because it hurt. It’s because I was being unfair to you and myself na. I wanted to keep you selfishly to myself when I shouldn’t be wanting you that way in the first place.”

JANUARY 2017 

Singapore was a very busy country. Donghyuck was very eager to start anew and just forget about his broken heart and the people he loves that he left in Manila. He erased his social media accounts and only gave his new number to Jaemin, Jeno and Renjun. 

It was supposed to be a clean slate but every now and then he’d get messages from Jaemin saying that Mark is looking for him or Mark is asking for his number.

“Hinanap ka na naman ni Mark sa akin. Sabi ko you are in Singapore and very busy ngayon. Sabi nya di ka nagpaalam na aalis ka. Nagulat din sya nung sinabi kong two years ang contract mo. I don’t think he is going to ask about you again. Guy can take a hint na ayaw mo na sya sa buhay mo.”

Donghyuck cried over Jaemin’s message. It’s finally this, he really lost Mark now. Ang kailangan na lang nya now ay mag-move on from loving him. 

“Thanks Nana.”

January 1, 2020 

“When you said you loved me, does that mean you don’t love me anymore now?” tanong ni Mark.

“I don’t know. I haven’t thought about my feelings for you consciously for years. Until I saw you again,” pag-amin ni Donghyuck.

“Three years is a very long time, Mark,” dagdag nya.

“Oo, three years is a very long time. We probably don’t even know each other that well ngayon. But I really loved the Donghyuck I had in my life many years ago and I want to know the Donghyuck I have in front of me now.”

“I don’t understand…”

“Magsimula tayo ulit. Kase kahit sabihin ko ngayon na mahal din kita all those years that you loved me, hindi ka maniniwala sa akin. If I failed to make you feel back then na I want you more than a friend to the point na iniwan mo ako ng walang pasabi, then I don’t want that back. But I want us to start again. Friends tapos let’s get to know the person we have become in the last three years. And if we end up falling in love again, which I’m confident on my part, I’ll do better in making you realize na I love you.”

“Mark Lee, that’s crazy!”

“But it’s possible right? I want to be part of your life again. I had no say in what you decided about us three years ago and nasaktan din ako, Hyuck. But I want to do better now.”

Donghyuck stares at Mark, trying to see how serious he is. Mark returns his stare, soft but unyielding.

“Okay! Fine! I guess eto yung magic ng new year, we can have new beginnings.”


End file.
